We as human creatures build are not naturally paid up members of society we need to be shuffled and bounced by the Brownian motion of society mixing our thoughts and desires with others to build our humanity. In short killing monsters doesn't make us level hugging strangers does.
one of the most instinctual reactions however is when hurt to recoil and run, when in doubt or fear to hide and shelter. This is wrong. I wont go into all the details but someone was very close to me then they left me in a strange place all on my own when I was in need of some hugs. I was isolated from all my friends by an entire hemisphere.
So I didn't recoil and retreat or at least not for long but I did steam ahead in the kind of flaming ball of fire that kills and maims. I did through myself out to the world getting hurt. I however during all of this was so offensive it was defensive, I was protecting myself by mosh pitting the Brownian pushes and pulls. In this mosh pit however someone took my hands and made me waltz again. Guys and girls learn the waltz its musical qualities are bountiful.
So I flew with wings on high to places I remember from dreams and memories of lifetimes past. I saw the line the cliff and steps, trust in flight because wings are golden threads of hope. Only to have the cords snap. Never has this happened before, I've been thrown to the ground, I've been tossed by hurricanes, I've been thrown away by stormy seas, I've run away with mortal fear, I've parted gentle melodies of fading bliss, I've fought free of a spiral, I've pulled up past darkness. Never. In no memory dream or nightmare have I taken a step of such infinite trust to have the strings snap and been left to fall instead of fly.
When the jester tangos and not a bell is heard, the court cries at the empty shadow upon which she falls.